And herin lies the crux!

I have read, heard, and been told so many times, that if you don't like/love your job... then quit and do something else.

What about the person who does like/love there job, yet has grown weary.  Not tired, weary.

I have chosen to be enjoined in a war, where battles are measured by 'before,' 'after,' or 'I didn't get a "lunch break"...'  Where patient's are calling me by name when I enter into the room or they see me walking by...  When at the end of a shift, there is often an awkward silence at the timeclock, where a simple nod, or blinking of the eyes, conveys more information than words can ever describe or communicate... 

Lately, I have been at the end of the game.  An argument for becoming a Labor & Delivery Nurse for sure!  Yet my skill set has been more in the rapid focus, assessment, planning, and intervention area.  Not saying that emergencies do not occur during childbirth, after all there are always at least two patient's involved at the exact same time.  Yet I have always said that depending on one's perspective, women having been giving birth for thousands of years or millions of years... modern medicine came around in the last few hundred, and messed it all up.  Then again, the same argument applies to who I am and what I do now...

I guess that explains my lacking.  Follow-through.  I treat or street!  Problem, fix.  One either goes upstairs or is discharged.  I do not claim disability, I wonder/ask, is this an over-simplification versus a true understanding?  It used to be called being an, "adrenalin junkie!"

"Secondary Post Traumatic Stress Disorder," is as foreign to me as being 'allergic' to every available medication except the specific one that is being sought.  Make's for a few raised eyebrows by nurses!

It would be nice to wake up in the morning and stir some coals... add a few chunks of wood... get the fire going again.  Cook breakfast!  Eggs, bacon, biscuits... gravy if there were some pork drippings left over from the night before, with some flour.  The "fancy" name for that now is "Rue."  Always a pot of oats for breakfast!  The secret surprise, is that there is a dutch oven reserved, prepared throughout the day, filled with a cobbler!  Cooked slowly near the end.  Shared only with friends and family.